4 Ways To Rid Negative Self Talk
We all have it. That little voice in our head telling us that we aren’t ready for that promotion or that we aren’t fit enough, tall enough, or healthy enough to succeed. Ever wonder why you never finished that project or why you don’t see yourself as accomplished as your peers? I’m here to tell you that 1) you aren’t alone and 2) get out of your own way. This isn’t uncommon. In fact, what you are experiencing is something both psychologists and wellness experts refer to as "Negative Self-Talk".
What is Negative Self-Talk?
Negative Self-Talk occurs through 4 particular forms of what I like to identify as Self-Conflict. This includes the following: doubt, criticism, comparison, and defensiveness.
Doubt: “I’m not worthy or good enough”.
Criticism: “I can’t/won’t succeed”.
Comparison: “I’ll never be as good as ___”.
Defensiveness: “I’d be better if xyz”.
Let me stop you right here. Does any of this sound familiar? If not, maybe you call yourself names or avoid socializing at all costs. At any rate, ALL of these scenarios are moments in which we speak to/about ourselves negatively. And they must stop.
The Effects of Negative Self-Talk
Research has proven that negative self-talk contributes to both low self-esteem and stress. Feelings of unworthiness can lead to hopelessness, depression, or even self-harm. Each of these feelings and actions is unhealthy; and it is imperative to recognize when negative dialogue occurs within oneself because if left untreated, the effects can be detrimental in the long run.
For me personally, negative self-talk has happened and still happens every once in a while. If I don’t do as well in a class, I tend to get really down on myself: asking why I didn’t try harder or how I could just let my grade slip away? It isn’t uncommon for me to be my harshest critic. In fact, most times, we may be our only critics. Think about it. When was the last time someone has criticized you about your grades, your weight, or your job? Whoever that was (either the negative self-talk speaking or a bystander), tell em to kick rocks!!
Now, this isn’t me saying that constructive criticism is bad or not needed. We all can work on ways to self-improve. However, recognize when you, yourself or others are breaking your heart down with toxicity.
4 Ways To Rid of Negative Self-Talk
Take Note of Your Self Worth
You are Worthy, Beautiful, & Full of So Much Potential. We live in a big world full of promise, but the one thing we overlook at times is the promise that we hold within ourselves. Take a moment and affirm your greatness. You Will Do Big Things.
Acknowledge Your Flaws & Find Room to Embrace Them
Sure you aren’t perfect; but, nobody is expecting you to be on top of your game all of the time. You are human after all. Find Strength in your Weaknesses.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Focus on being the best version of yourself rather than trying to compete with someone who doesn’t have the same heart, intentions, or goals as you do. Comparison is a deep dark hole, honey. Swim Away!!
Don’t Worry About What You Could Have
Why not get started right here - right now? Rome wasn’t built in a day and your dreams certainly won’t be either. Start with the resources you have and build your empire!
When broken down, I know that these steps seem a little basic or rudimentary. That’s because they are. Take a break from over analyzing how your life should be and show gratitude for how things are going right now. Life will get hard sometimes. You will find yourself wanting to engage in negative self-talk. But, before you do, take a moment, think about your self-worth, embrace your flaws, alleviate comparison, and relinquish the urge to get defensive. There is a beauty in your honestly. There is hope in your willingness to be the best version of yourself. Only You can decide how your journey will turn out. So, treat that mind of yours with love and show Negative Self-Talk the door.
Sending Hugs & Hellos,
Nese M. Dolan: wellnesswithnese.com